I was just cruising the web (you know, procrastinating) and kept stumbling across these ads. YOOX is shouting about CELINE hats for men, “unique style” and “latest trends.” Lyst is all “Shop Women’s Celine Hats! Sale!” And then there’s Vestiaire Collective, which is where things get… interesting. They’re selling *second-hand* CELINE hats. Used hats! I mean, okay, recycling is cool and all, but a *used* hat? From CELINE? Is that even a thing?
Then, for absolutely no reason that makes any sense, I saw something about “Medical Laboratory Test & Services.” What the heck does that have to do with CELINE hats? Maybe you need a lab test to verify the authenticity of a vintage CELINE hat made of, like, some exotic material? I dunno. My brain is officially fried.
Anyway, back to these “High Precision” hats. What even *is* high precision when it comes to a hat? Are they using lasers to cut the brim? Is the stitching done by microscopic robots? I’m picturing some dude in a white lab coat, meticulously calibrating the angle of the Celine logo on a baseball cap. It’s probably just marketing fluff, but the idea kinda tickles me.
Honestly, the whole CELINE hat thing feels a bit… extra. I mean, they’re probably gorgeous and all, and I’m sure some fashionista somewhere is rocking a vintage, high-precision, second-hand CELINE hat with a lab-certified pedigree. But me? I’m good with my five-dollar baseball cap from Target. It keeps the sun out of my eyes, and I don’t need a PhD to figure out how to wear it.
